Funeral Days

Funeral days

I’ve got a secret, just for you.

Would you happen to have any for me?

I was foolish that day last summer,

When I neglected the time, leaving early.

Convincing you I had prior engagements

When the truth was it was just too painful

To sit on the couch beside you,

You, holding my child on your lap

Laughing through talks of cartoons

There are things I forgot to tell you

Or, maybe I just lacked the courage

The smell of death, it just scared me

I saw my future asleep in your fading eyes

There was terror, and, yes, there’s regret

Boy, I wish you’d have known me

Because I have always known you

Few were the days we met

All darkened by the same heavy cloud

But even through somber occasions,

Your smile rubbed off on my face

How selfish to mourn you now

When I could have easily stayed, holding your hand

You would have let me tell you all of it,

Especially the part where I loved you.

We might have one day been friends,

Then again, I had 23 years.

A hundred more wouldn’t have made the difference.

So, I wanted to tell you my secret before you left for good:

I cried the whole way home that day

Knowing our chance had passed

When we embraced good-bye for the last time

And I kissed you on the cheek

My lips tasted your morphine sweat

But still, I held onto a hope there would be one more day

One more funeral to attend

Before it was you in the coffin.